Living Life Offline: My Journey Away from Social Media
Divorcing from social media was the best thing I have done for myself and my child.
Like many parents, I posted daily moments of my newborn’s life on Facebook so our global family members could watch our little one grow. At the time I didn’t think much of it. My profile was locked down so that only friends could see it,. My friends list was almost entirely close family.
As my child grew, they would become aware of the photos and videos I was taking as they crawled, walked, babbled and talked. Then the day came when I posted a video, as I always did, and put my attention back on my child. Within a few minutes, they asked: Did grandma see the video yet? They were three years old.
It was in that moment that I questioned what I was teaching. Was I laying the foundation that their existence in life was to get reactions from others? That their self-worth was measured in likes and comments? That day I deleted my Facebook account.
Several years later, I noticed a change in my Instagram feed. The algorithms that attempted to serve me my perfect addiction had excluded posts from my friends. The people I wanted to keep in touch with were suddenly radio silent. Only, they weren’t. On their account, I could see all of their latest posts, but those weren’t coming up on my feed. My world view had gotten so much narrower. And this was all pre-2016.
I knew better. As a marketer, I know that the data you post on social media platforms, using your smart devices, gather information about you that a marketer uses to narrow down the audience that ads are served to. It’s also very cost-effective to advertise on these platforms because I can get very specific in who I target. I don’t like my personal information being used to sell products for massive corporations and I realized that I was at an ethical crisis. And that’s when I quit X and Instagram. I was not going to be an active participant in that.
Why I divorced from social media, mostly.
I was watching the documentary, “The Social Dilemma“, there was one key response that struck me, and it’s one I heard before but hadn’t really stuck until I became a parent and it’s this:
The people who created the platforms (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.), and the people who created smartphones, do not allow their own children to use the technology.
Stop and read that again.
They have created products that have literally changed the world, shifted the way we communicate and engage with everything. The creators who built the technology know the good and bad of using it, and they do not allow their children to use the product they created. That speaks volumes.
That’s like creating an amazing new car that changes the auto industry but the people who made it know its not safe so they don’t let their families buy one.
Opting out of social media
Choosing to delete social media accounts isn’t easy, and that is by design. There are plenty of studies and documentaries that detail how platforms use algorithms and notifications to keep you engaged and connected. The goal is to keep you using the product because every click, every like and every post you read or watch becomes a data point they can sell.
What makes it even harder is that the platforms have become institutionalized into our lives. Want to learn about your child’s school PTA? They have Facebook. Want to RSVP to that event? It’s on Facebook.
And it’s not just social media — its smartphones and apps. How many apps are promoted to you on a monthly basis? The one from your dentist or doctor? Your pet’s veterinarian? That restaurant you visited? Want to check up on your child’s school progress? Yep, there’s an app for that.
Not sure if you have noticed this, but now if you want the special deals or weekly coupons at fast-food restaurants or grocery stores, you have to download their app. I’m not lovin’ it.
And there is a bit of a stigma if you don’t have socials to share or you have no idea what the latest challenge or trend is. There are times when I feel a bit isolated from current culture and I don’t understand what all the fuss is about.
Walking the talk
My child’s peers have smartphones loaded with TikTok, CoverStar, Snapchat and WhatsApp. They spend their lunch time browsing social channels and watching YouTube videos instead of playing and making face-to-face social connections.
I do not allow my child to have a smartphone. They do have an Apple Watch that allows them to keep track of their schedule and contact me when they need to. We discuss the feeling of being left out or like an outsider, and we also recognize how challenging it is to socialize and connect with friends when a smartphone comes into play.
I have to hold myself accountable, too and I would be a poor role model if I told my child that social media is unhealthy and leads to poor sense of self if I spent all of my time using social platforms, so I cut most of them and I try to be aware of how much time I spend on my iPad, browsing Pinterest or Reddit. I am not perfect. I am human, and I am trying.
YouTube is useful when I need to learn how to fix something in my house, or if I am learning a new craft technique. I also love Pinterest for its inspiring ideas and ability to catalog and save them — especially cooking recipes. I think there is a place for it, but we try to limit it as much as we can and focus more on face-to-face, in-person interactions. Again, we are humans, doing our best.
Blogging without social media is a choice
I understand that gaining a following is a key part of blogging, and it relies heavily on social media. I recognize that this may influence my growth and success. However, I remain dedicated to sharing information and content only in areas that I would personally use in my own life. I see so many people on social media or through blogs who put up a persona but don’t live in it their personal life. That’s not me, it’s not authenticity and that’s not what you will find here.
And speaking of fake, the latest profiles showing up on Instagram and Facebook are now AI profiles. It is now possible that the person engaging on your Instagram reel isn’t even a person at all. When I tell my child that they cannot know for sure if the person presented on a social media channel is actually that person (could be a 50-year-old man posing as a teen), I now have to explain that that profile may be artificial intelligence. Hard pass.
