A Lesson in Accepting Mistakes: Bullet Journaling as a Perfectionist
Learning to live with imperfections was several notebooks in the making.
Back in 2017, I was introduced to bullet journaling by a coworker. She noticed I doodled in my planner at work. She shared her bullet journal. It had beautiful trackers, calendars and weekly sections to keep her focused on her goals. I am a perfectionist who loves to categorize, organize and put things in containers. I also struggle when I make mistakes.
Bullet journaling is based on a system created by Ryder Carroll. They are handwritten, usually with dotted journals with a bullet points systems to log and track information. The concept is to focus on simplicity, organization and flexibility. It can be as simple or elaborate as you need it to be, so long as it has function in your life.
I loved the idea of customizing my own planner and applying creativity and design. So, I loaded up with the recommended supplies:
- dotted journals
- Zebra midliner markers
- Staedler pens
- washi tape
- a tiny ruler
- a high-quality eraser
I got to work and I created some beautiful layouts for my bullet journal. I had trackers galore, all colorful and clean, sharp lines. It became a relaxing activity to plan out my bullet journal.
Mistakes are bad, so throw it out
But I started to notice my perfectionism causing some havoc. First, a not so straight line in pen. Or uneven boxes. And the notorious mess ups on the dates of the months. I wanted to rip out the page and start over. Yet, doing so would mess up the binding of my notebook. So instead, I tossed out a perfectly good notebook and started over. My bullet journal had to be perfect.
Throwing out perfectly good notebooks was not the best decision, both for the environment and my bank account. So instead, I started to be more meticulous with the pencil before I committed to pen. I would still make mistakes, as all humans do.
I reflected on why it bothered me that there were imperfections in my bullet journals. Why did I need to be perfect on something that was supposed to bring me joy? I realized that my need to be perfect stemmed from a fear of being seen as a failure. And, at the same time, I was trying to teach my child that mistakes are learning moments. I needed to practice what I preached and embrace mistakes as my own moments of learning. More importantly, accepting myself as in imperfect human.
Embracing imperfection
My bullet journals today are a minimalistic style. I don’t have trackers because I just wasn’t using them. What I really need is a few columns and weekly layouts. And I only track three things: my tasks, meetings and appointments. I create a title page for the month and that is where my creativity and design is expressed. It’s not always great and that’s ok!
And I do still make mistakes when putting in dates because I don’t include weekends. Sometimes I get them wrong and I cross them out or I may even write “opps” next to it. It is my reminder that the goal isn’t perfection, the goal is organization and function. I was also gifted a roll of washi tape that has a sticker that reads “imperfectly perfect.” I use those next to bigger mistakes or flaws and its a great reminder for myself.
At the end of the day, the only person who cares about something being perfect is me. I can give myself grace and understanding and remember that perfection is unattainable, so why spend energy on it?
